What can you do to bring back the fire to a relationship that has lost its spark? Is there any way for couples to recapture the magic?
Over the years, I have provided advice to a number of struggling couples. I have told them how they can strengthen their relationship while maintaining intimacy. During this time, it’s become very clear to me that many couples don’t understand how they can nourish a truly healthy relationship.
As an example, I have talked to many women who focus entirely on their children, neglecting their husbands in the process. T
I have also talked to husbands who thought that their paycheck was the only contribution to their marriage that mattered.
What can you do to strengthen your marriage?
Before you can work to improve your marriage, you’ll have to learn what the foundations of a healthy relationship are. While this may sound like a challenge, it’s easy to learn these principles. In time, you’ll have no trouble applying them to your own relationship.
What makes a marriage healthy?
1. Love is the foundation that every marriage should be built upon. It’s what can help you weather the worst storms. Love is what motivates couples to work out arguments and stay together when things are tough.
What does love really mean?
There is much more to love than showing affection and giving gifts. When a marriage is filled with love, both partners are working to accommodate the other person’s needs. Love isn’t about idealism. No one is perfect, and seeking perfection is a relationship isn’t healthy. It’s about accepting your spouse for the person they are.
Don’t try to make your marriage fit into some kind of attainable mold. You’ll wind up unhappy and unsatisfied. No marriage is perfect, even if it looks that way on the outside. Every couple has their struggles.
2. Reasonable expectations are crucial to a healthy relationship. It’s human nature to search for something better. The things we expect in life are based on our strongest needs and desires. Because of this, people often think about the various ways their marriage could be better.
It’s okay to have expectations about your marriage. Everyone has their own needs and desires. If a person feels like their needs aren’t being meant, they should be able to communicate that to their spouse.
When do expectations because a problem?
Expectations become an issue as soon as they begin to cause problems in your marriage. If you are constantly focusing on the ways that your spouse falls short, neither of you will be happy.
Instead of focusing on what could be, you should try to appreciate your spouse for who they really are. This doesn’t mean going along with everything they say. If you’re truly unhappy, you should express that.
However, it does mean that life doesn’t always turn out the way you plan. This doesn’t mean that your marriage can’t be great; it just means that you have to balance your expectations. In order to accept your spouse, you’ll have to set realistic expectations. Look beyond your dreams and work to create expectations that make sense. Work to ensure that both you and your spouse are happy with what you have.
3. Don’t lose your sense of adventure. It’s important for couple to find ways to maintain a sense of excitement in their marriage. Couples should not be too afraid to make changes, especially if the changes could be beneficial to them in some way.
Do you fear change?
A lot of couples get comfortable in their marriage and miss out on opportunities because of it. When you have the chance to try something new, evaluate it carefully. See if it could help your marriage thrive.
Don’t miss out on something special because you’re satisfied with your current routine.
Humans need stability, but they also need to grow. If your marriage is more stable than healthy, something needs to change.
You have to think about more than what’s comfortable to you; you also need to consider what will make your spouse happy.
What’s the best way to deal with conflicts?
Every couple is going to disagree now and then. This doesn’t mean that either party is wrong, or that they are a bad husband or wife. It only means that they are human.
Some people avoid having disagreements because they are worried it will cause conflict. However, it’s healthier for couples to work to solve any problems that they have. Don’t less conflicts fester; work to fix the problems in your marriage.