You want to convey your thoughts and needs to your spouse. You want to do it in an effective way. However, how do you communicate in such a way?
Many spouses cannot genuinely communicate with one another, and this is sometimes referred to as damaged communication. One reason why this is called damaged communication is because most of the time, attempts at communicating often results in breaking down emotionally. It may also result in other forms of aggression.
You and your spouse may be experiencing effects of damaged communication if you do not like starting a normal conversation with your spouse. The entire lifeblood of your relationship can be drained due to damaged communication. All meaning in a relationship can be lost if you and your spouse stop communicating with one another and your entire relationship may come crumbling down as a result of not effectively communicating with your spouse.
So, why does damaged communication happen? The truth is that harmony is everything in a marriage and when that harmony is broken, then things can go awry. In fact, it can go awry very quickly.
Damaged communication is usually a reflection of how things have been in the marriage for the last few months or even years, and it is usually the result of defense mechanisms that people use in order to protect themselves from things such as aggression, emotional attacks and so forth. Long story short, it happens because of people’s natural aversion to being hurt. Communication strategies that may do more harm than good may be used if a relationship is not going as smooth as it should be going.
So, how can you repair your relationship via better communication? What you need is to have genuine communication. If you have good communication in a relationship, then you will be happier and more secure in the relationship. Your spouse will also be happier and feel more secured.
There is something seriously wrong if your relationship is causing turmoil in your spouse’s heart or in your own hurt. With that said, there are things you can do to improve your relationship. Below are a few ways you can go about improving your relationship via better communication.
1. Don’t Use Attack Words- These types of words make people feel bad, and some of these words include obsessed, lazy, self-centered and selfish to name a few. Those words can make people feel bad about themselves. Some people may find using such words to be acceptable because they think it teaches their spouse about their errors. However, the real intention of using such words is usually to control the other person and the entire situation.
People don’t like being controlled, and if you want your marriage or relationship to work, then stop using attack words. These words should never be used in the relationship. If you do use such words, then you will not be doing your part in rebuilding your relationship and intimacy with your partner.
2. Avoid Negative Tags– So many married couples use negative tagging, which means for some reason they call each other horrible names and strange names. Some of these names may include sexist pig or witch, and some people may consider this to be unacceptable. The truth is that negative tags are sometimes thought to be common in a loving marriage.
Do you use negative tags such as the ones previously mentioned? If so, then you’re probably hurting your partner’s feelings. This is even the case if they have become used to your negative behavior. The best thing to do is to avoid using negative tags altogether, as this will be doing you, your partner and your relationship a huge favor.
3. Avoid Using An Accusing Tone- If you want to have more arguments, then use an accusing tone. Of course you don’t want to do this, so try to catch yourself before you engaging in an argument. If you’re using the word “you” in statements, then you’re probably using an accusing tone.
Usually the word you is followed up by hurtful statements. For example, some followup statements may include things such as you are always spending money on useless things. That is just one example of using hurtful words after using the word you in statements.
In order to avoid this, you need to be wary of how you express yourself, even if you are at the end of your rope. Instead of blurting out something like you’re lazy, you can say something like you feel tired after a long day of doing most of the work at homer and you don’t have a lot of interest in interacting with the kids. Doing this, as well as making other modifications can help people understand what they did and how to improve the relationship and make it better.